gosh.. y so suddenly..

its just being long time.. really long time... haiz... y this thing that un-expectedly.. can happen one.. haiz.. i really dunno y...how we end up here You know it's funny I just miss you so much ...不知不覺已經那麼久 ... y cant stil happen.. i really tried.. really.. i REALLY TRIED....but god's just trying to paly a fool around wit me.. how can this happen.. i cant seems to get over a grip wit this.. haiz...我的心 已死好久....on the day it self u told me be remain the same.. but things wok out fine starting... then y like this again now.. haiz~~~...i really hope that... it can just go.. but then我用了多少寂寞瞭解 你離開的理由 我沒有能挽回你的 權力 除非你能瞭解我 .........
this blog i writing is now the 21th of january... 3 in the midnight.. haiz~~~ i'm just sad.. til i can hardly sleep.. that day after my work.. she offered me ..g ave me a lift.. fetch me al the way home... which her parents all already realize.. that i was trying to persuade her be4.. n yet she can take me home.. y is these hapening.. i really wanna noe.. god pls give me the answer.. i feel no good no longer...:'(就算是我已經往前走 我也排迴在所有美好往事左右... i admit.. i have to..我猶豫著 還要不要 承認我 放不開手 ....... i dunno y.. i just dunno y....:(... i wish somebody could just get wat i mean... its already so late.. n yet i'm working tomolo.. n I CANT sleep.... this is no good man NO GOOD!!!!

at LAST...

well... i finally got her to give me the one i needed... as expected u see.. its a no.. its a fren word at last of the story also... just like the few past blog i wrote... wel.. i feel so released n fun n free now.. hehe... if onli she would give me the answer earlier.. wounld'nt it be better??.. haha..
but i dun blame her la.. mayb i'm really not the one she would like.. but just the time onli la i think.... the time she draged... is kinda long for me.. but nvm la... cuz everythings is over now:)

WHEN....zzzz?!?!?!?!

haizz.. exam over.. near to college... scary life n future wil gonna be starting soon enough.. dude.. jason.. plus oil man.. one thing i'm not satisfied is... haizz hard to say.. things that i've been waiting for.. dunno when onli i can achive.. or even just get it to noe... i'm goin here n there.. she's goin here n there too.. when onli we can get to meet up n i can actually ask her to give me the answer... haiz.. i just dun noe.. time i passing so fast.. that i cant even make up one time to meet her.. soon enough gonna be 2007.. she's gonna start her spm already.. if the answer is no i'll just wish her al the best in her future..a l i can do is be her fren.. but if its a yes.. god.. then many things shall happen again.. the distance.. many of my frens say.. distance wit develop another answer... the unwanted one.. aik~ then i said... no way.. its no possible.. but now i think of it.. its quite true.. god pls tel me wat to do.. should i continue or just... give it...??.. i just dun noe.. haiz~

WAT THE HECKK!!!!!!

HAIH!!!!~~~~ y human must be like this.. when u noe something.. it makes u wanna noe more.. n when u dun noe somthing.. it makes u angry n u wanna noe it too much.. until now.. u feel so angry sad n sorry for her.. wat FOR!!!!~~~haizz.. i got to found out something bout this good fren of mine.. he n me feel for the same girl.. asu read down the blogs be4 this one.. u'll get the picture.. n then suddenly that day i ask him.. he say he told her already.. he explain everything to her already.. ahih~~ i dunno wat to do.. i really wanna ask her if she feels sad or wat is her feeling that day.. on that time on that MOMENT!!.. haih... i really do.. n then i found out again..(this was by myself)... he gave up was becuz.. of other girls.. omg.. wat should i feel bout him.. wat a shock!! i mean it.. WAT A SHOCK MAN DUDe!!.. haiz.. wat should i do.. wat should i.. wat wat wat wat ... wat the fuck!!!!!!! should be the word.. dam it.. forget it la.. hurt like shit

my love~~ its almost the time.. haiz~~

If I wrote you a symphony...Just to say how much you mean to me..Now, if I wrote you a love note...And made you smile with every word I wrote .. wat wil u do??If I told you you were beautiful would u be happy?? gratefull?...date me on the regular ??.. haih~~ things r happenning too OBVIOUS!! TOO obvious man!!Well, I've been all round the world ..But I ain't seen myself another girl.. cant seems to put it down n give it up wat i dun wan it to happen... Sitting together, laying side by side... make me feel happy but i noe. that wouldn't be the answer that i wants in the future.. See, what's the point of waiting anymore.. Cause girl I've never been more sure ..... but that doesn't mean i give up... hehe.. so all the way until the answer comes to me..\!!!BRING it on.. i'm always ready for it/.. the answer i meant..:)

hmmm... gonna mis so many people

today is monday... 2MORE DAYS TO MY HATRAD sub.. chinese exam.. haizz stupid spm
our graduation is over.. photo has been taken.. but lack of one.. thats my mui mui(pei lin)
i wanted to take many pictures as possible.. but she's at genting highland when i graduate.. haizz.
so then the most i cant forget is rachel... hmm i wil really miss her alot.. is best if she would join in the same college as i do in future:) hehe. hmm althought it has been 7 months n 2 weeks.. i'm still waiting for the answer that she haven't been giving me.. i just hope that is a good answer... but i seems to like... already have a ffeling of answer in my heart... haizz.. if our distance is goin to fall apart... the far apart wil it change the feelings of her.. thinking too much is no good..
so i plan to let it go for the moment.. n just let it be natural... depends on her.. if she really. hmm... dun care la.. i cant do much.. my good fren had hurt her once... n i dunno wat kind of feeling i should have.. sad?? angry?? sorry or wat?? so hard to think of it.. i cant bare wit it any longer... letting it go for the moment until my exam is over should be a good way... so just hope i can focus in my exam.. for the moment:)

I CAN'T no longer...

i can BARE no longer.. to focus n look at myself no matter wat happened.. just like this foto.. giving up is sad.. keeping it going on.. ameks me sad too.. die.. too pain.. cant decide wat to do.. pray is totally a lame way.. going after it.. its so tiring.. waiting.. is so broken.. always like this.. nothing seems to be shotting at my mind n aiming fo an answer that i wil feel much better be4 my exam starts.. the nearer my exam coming.. the MORE HATRED i got for myself... haizz.. just like this foto.. DUN LOOK AT ME NO LONGER MAN DUDE!!!!

DisTANCE.. wil it be the one??

COULD IT be??.. distance as the reason??... here i am again.. post down the feelings i think... i've heard so many songs.. so many kinds of lyrics thats so so so suitable to me.. i feel so sad.. whenever i hear them:'(...Should I leave, should I go, should I break apart??N wat said you would break my heart...How could I’ve fallen so in love With someone I’d known for monthsss.. And not even know that She’d be the one..To reveal my worst my fears.....
after this year.. i'll be leaving skol .. very soon i wont have the time already.. or perhaps should say.. no more time.. AT ALL.. should i just.. or should i ...should this should that.. stupid brain.. if onli i have the controller to stop the functionning... haizzzz... skol over.. things over.. time over.. many things wil be soon be over!

Failure I am..

SOON enough.. i've started thinking of it already... many things. many reasons.. many courses that made me think like this.. in many ways.
mayb its my faulth for not making the opportunities.. mayb i didn't approach her near enough.. often enough.. or even mayb cuz i spend 90% by distance contacting.. or should i say 99%?? is it a mistake or is it wrong?? is it stil able to change it by starting it now?? by changing it now?? or is it too late??.. dude my brain's gonna explode any moment....!!!!!!! yoyoyo... y,y,y,y,.. haizz... thinking makes me... fadup
perhaps.. is cuz of the distance.. mayb.. or perhaps not.. ah~~~~~ hope it passes faster!!!..
its been sometime.. i felt that.. our communication.. has changed.. to some sort of.. feelings that gave me the answers... mayb im thinking too much?? or mayb not?? thinking is not a good thing.. i've read some article.. saying that i'm shy or wat or wat as a reason.. ALL LAME man!!!.. dam IT!!..how should i over come this thinking thing?? or this lame thing?? ALL THIS!!! HOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!